Many of us are at home more than usual thanks to the pandemic, and now winter. Personally, I live in Omaha, Nebraska, and am currently watching it snow (which I LOVE!).
I have two kids, Claire (4) & Ben (1) that I stay at home with while my husband goes to work. It’s a common situation, but despite it being common, doesn’t make it easy!
I wanted to share a few of my realizations & tricks for being a WAHM in or out of a pandemic.
First off, set realistic expectations for yourself!
Raising kids, keeping a household running, & being your own boss are many different jobs, so expecting yourself to do it all is unrealistic. Be practical in things that can be accomplished, and please let go of that mom guilt! This one is tough for me. I like a clean house, fulfilled kids, & a successful business. Sometimes, something has gotta give.
Second, ask for help!
Not everyone has this luxury, especially with social distancing. We keep our circle small, and choose to still see my parents. They help immensely with taking care of the kids when I need childcare while shooting a wedding, sessions, need a day dedicated to uninterrupted editing, or the kids need a change of scenery.
Next, lists are your new bff.
I have notebooks dedicated to lists. Have you ever had so many things going on in your mind that you need to remember, but they are quickly fleeing from your thoughts? #mombrain I start each day & end each night by writing a list. The first thing I do is write everything I can think of that I would like to accomplish or remember. It doesn’t matter the order or content. If I want to take a shower, I write it down. If I need to buy eggs, I write it down. If I need to check in with a client, I write it down. After I’ve purged all of the tasks onto paper, I organize it. I do a work list, a household list, and a grocery/errand list. I then look over those lists & mark what I think is realistic to accomplish today, then write a new list with today’s tasks in the order I think they’d be best accomplished.
That all may sound complicated or even like a waste of time, but studies show that lists are one of the best ways to manage your time, and as a WAHM, time is scarce.
Communicate with your kids!
Tell your kids the plan for the day. Kids thrive with routine, and setting expectations & giving options are the best ways I’ve found to limit tantrums from the kids (& me!). I tell my kids something like this at breakfast:
“Today is going to be such a good day! I have some things to do for work, do you have any things you’d like to do? Ohhh, drawing sounds fun! So does going outside! After breakfast, let’s play together with the trains, and then I’m going to do some work while you have fun drawing! Later this afternoon, let’s go on a walk through the park. Which way would you like to go? I love that way! Seeing all those big trees are fun. Would you like to bring a snack on the walk so we can have a little picnic? Would you like fruit snacks or a banana with a Lightening McQueen sticker? Cars is such a fun movie! I think that would be a good movie to watch for some downtime after our walk.”
Know when to throw the plan out the window.
Wouldn’t it be nice if all the effective communication & smiling worked everyday? It certainly doesn’t. Being a WAHM is an adjustment for you & your kids. Many days, that nice plan of mine I set in the morning is completely busted by 10am. When that happens, I determine if I have any strict deadlines due that day, and if I do, I start FaceTiming my parents & showing them their cute grandkids to subtly persuade them into spending the day with them, or having my 4 year old blatantly ask! Or, I wait until nap time for the baby & put on a movie for the toddler, then I get to work. Or, if it’s a doozy of a day, I let my husband know that when he gets home, I need to work & go up to our room to work while he takes care of the kids. He even sneaks me in some dinner :)
A few other tricks:
-Use a timer. Tell your kids you’ll race cars for 15 minutes, and then you’re going to do some work. It gives them a more concrete concept of what 15 minutes actually is.
-Buy a playpen. This one was clutch for me during the busy fall season. I set up the baby for success with his favorite toys, and worked close enough to see him, but far enough away that he would be independent. This is the one I bought: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08CDCVSC2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
-Get headphones! That way if I need to take a call or video chat, I can minimize the kid noise. I bought my hubby AirPods for Christmas, & think I’ve used them more than he has. Wired headphones are way more tempting to pull on to a baby.
-Hire housecleaning services. I realized that having someone come over once a month to do the windows, dusting, floor scrubbing, stove deep-clean, vacuuming, etc. made me a much better mom! It’s my splurge for myself that I absolutely love.
-Be gracious with yourself. This is the biggest one to me. Being a mom, WAHM, SAHM, all have their challenges.
It’s easy to get caught up with expectations & social media pressure. Please know that you are enough & what you’re doing is enough.
