Let's talk about prepping kids for photo sessions or being in wedding!
There are lots of BIG emotions from everyone when it comes to getting their photo taken, which could be insecurities about being photographed, what you're wearing, the pressure of the "perfect" family photo, worry of what the kids are going to do, and investing money that you hope is "worth it".
Kids feed off those emotions and also feel insecurities about photo sessions too. If they have never met the photographer before, or it's been a whole year (which is a looooooong time for a kid), there is stranger danger. If they're wearing an outfit that is kinda itchy, they'll be uncomfortable. If they were told over & over not to get messy or fidget with their clothes, their confidence is going to be shaky.
As a photographer, but mostly as a mom, I've learned a few things! The biggest thing is preparation. You as guardians set the tone for the session. I would start a few days before the appointment or wedding, and just talk casually about the session. Mention how excited you are to go see this new place and meet a friend (aka the photographer)! Also talk about how fun it is to pick out an outfit & get dressed up, and how that makes you feel good.
You can watch a couple YouTube videos on being a flower girl, kids being photographed, or how a camera works while describing the plan for the session. For example, "We're going to go to this HUGE park that has a lake & lots of trees. Sometimes there is even deer! We're going to meet my friend Katie who will take our photos. She is super nice & tells funny jokes. We'll do photos all together, dad & I will get our photos taken together, you'll smile for photos with your little brother, and I bet she's going to ask to see your silliest face while it's just your turn!" If you have a kid that’s going to be in a wedding, you could say, “Do you know what a wedding is? Well, it’s a celebration of love! There are usually lots of people there that are dressed in fancy clothes, there are beautiful flowers, & my favorite part is the dancing! Would you like to play wedding? Yes! Okay. You will have a super important job, the flower girl! Let’s find you some flowers & set up the area!”
The best thing though, is to mention how you're excited to spend time with them, that your favorite thing to do is to see them smile & laugh, and that you enjoy doing things together.
The day of the session or wedding, especially if (when!) things go awry, they will be looking to you on how to react. If the kids are grumpy, didn't take a nap, or fell down and now has a goose egg on their forehead, just relay those concerns discreetly to your photographer when you arrive. Please don't bribe (i.e. candy or video games) or threaten them (i.e. no ice cream or screen time) to try & persuade them into smiling or listening. If they're littles that need a snack during photos, that is perfectly fine.
Do some self-reflection to figure out what would shake your confidence, whether it's your outfit not fitting properly, being late to the session, needing help to wrangle everyone, or being nervous about the photos themselves. For me, I definitely need help wrangling everyone & managing my time. The way I prepare for a session is by laying out all the clothes & making sure they all fit everyone (& everyone is comfortable) a few nights before, coordinating with someone to help get the kids ready or watch them while I get ready, and giving us a 20 minute cushion of time in case we take longer than predicted.
Finally, while you're at the session or wedding, set gentle boundaries with your kids and remind them of the plan, then enjoy yourself! Your professional photographer has truly seen all sorts of behaviors and has tricks to get them on task. However, if you're still left with grumpy kids or a grumpy partner, make sure you shine like the beautiful human you are! You'll look back on those images & remember how funny their grumpy faces were, and how you're still waiting on your award for surviving the "Year of the Three Year Old".